Giving up on dating

So I am giving up on dating. What between the closeted gay guys who think if they can get married, their gayness will magically disappear to the those searching for a mommy who looks like a Playboy Bunny and will shag them silly on demand to the liars and cheats to the desperate jerks to the boys who are still babies at 44 to the asshats who think any fat woman should kiss their ass and give it up because they are the only ones who would stoop low enough to have you - well, frankly, it is just too damn exhausting and pathetic.

Honestly, it is beginning to look like the best path would be to find a good woman and go together to Lovers' Lane and pick out our favorite penis for $19.95.