More appliances!



So, joy of joys, my new washer and dryer finally arrived today, almost a month after I purchased them. Apparently everyone in the known universe, or at least the northern burbs of Illinois, purchased a washer and dryer at the same time, so it took forever for my purchase to reach my home. Which means, I have been hanging clothes out to dry, which smells nice but is always a pain because it often rains on the weekend, meaning my poor clothes don't always have a chance to dry.



It was an interesting delivery, and I once again shocked and outraged the Latino delivery guys by being incredible strong. For a fat chick. Apparently, a door was installed in the basement sometime after the old washer and dryer were put down there and we couldn't get the old appliances out without removing the door. Normally not a big deal, right? Pop some hinges and away you go. But these doors were bolted and nailed on. With big damn nails. Well, the bolts were stripped and not moving so I had to yank the nails out. They were 5 inches long. I broke a hammer doing it, you know, that claw part of the hammer. Which pisses me off a bit as it was on my nice wood-handled hammer, wood-handled hammers being very hard to find nowadays.



Either way, I got the door off and received a round of applause from the Latino guys, who wanted to know if I worked in construction, and they hauled away the old and brought in the new. The washer works fine, although I have to get a shim for the backside as it rocks a bit (they were impressed I knew what a shim was and that I could purchase cedar shims at Home Depot), and they installed the dryer and did some weird little chemical test that showed that there was no leak in the gas line.



Oh, the gas leak. I mentioned that earlier. The previous owners had mentioned there was a weird gas smell when they used the dryer and they thought the dryer itself had a leak, but weren't sure, which could mean that the line to the dryer had a leak. Which is not a good thing and much more expensive to fix.



Well, they got the new dryer hooked up, turned the gas on full steam ahead and did their chemical test around all the joints and on the new connector and the chemical didn't react and I ran it for 30 minutes and there was no funny smell, so there is no gas leak and it was the old dryer that was spitzing. I still might have the gas company come out and do a general safety inspection, just to put my mind at ease. And I did turn the gas off to the dryer anyways, until I can be there for a whole day, turn it on, and really check and see if there was a funny gas smell in the basement.



Either way, I shall soon have all clean clothes. And blankets and towels, as these appliances are supersized and will do 16 bath sheets at a crack! Whaaaahoooooooo!

Funny from My Friend Kristen - Joke and Recipe All in One!

This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little:

Once upon a time
~~~~~~~~
in a land far away,
~~~~~~~~
a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess
~~~~~~~~
happened upon a frog as she sat
contemplating ecological issues
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
in a verdant meadow near her castle.
~~~~~~~~
The frog hopped into the princess' lap
and said: “Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
~~~~~~~~
One kiss from you, however,
and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that I am
~~~~~~~~
and then, my sweet, we can marry
~~~~~~~~
and set up housekeeping in your castle
~~~~~~~~
with my mother,
~~~~~~~~
where you can prepare my meals,
~~~~~~~~
clean my clothes, bear my children,
~~~~~~~~
and forever feel
grateful and happy doing so. "
~~~~~~~~
That night,
~~~~~~~~
as the princess dined sumptuously
~~~~~~~~
on lightly sautéed frog legs
~~~~~~~~
seasoned in a white wine
~~~~~~~
and onion cream sauce,
~~~~~~~~
she chuckled and thought to herself:
~~~~~~~~
I don't freakin think so.

I Am Not a Dumb Woman,
You Sexist Bastard

So, I have been in the deapths of moving over the last two days. Last night, around 8:30, I hauled in the second to the last vehicle-full o'crap and then proceeded to change clothes and suggest to mia madre, who is down helping, that we go somewhere for steak. About to head out the door, I said, "Do you smell something hot?"

Indeed, something was hot: the slightly defective oven that I knew had to be replaced within the next month. Somehow, it was turned on. And, even when we moved the knob back to "off," it stayed on. And got hotter and hotter. And neither of us could find the gas turn off, not that I had my toolbox available to get a wrench and turn it off, anyhow.

So, I ran next door to the neighbor's to see if I could get the number for the gas company. I knocked on the door and saw that the person inside could see me, and he just ignored me. Looked right at me and then looked away. So I ran to another neighbors, who despite the fact that I don't speak Spanish well and they didn't speak English well, managed to understand and get me the number for the gas company.

Well, the gas guy showed up and fiddled with the knob and goes, "It's off." I said, "No, it isn't. It will come back on. We tried the same thing - it seemed off but then it popped back on." He gave me this look like I was a stupid female and repeated himself. I asked him to disconnect it from the gas line. Which he did, but somewhat sulkily.

So, tonight, instead of relaxing after two exhausting days of movage, I will be going to Sears and getting a new range. And since I need a new gas dryer, I will be getting that as well. Joy!