My Harry Potter Prediction

It took a really long time before I bowed to the pressue to read the Harry Potter books. I didn't want to like them. I was worried they would be derivative off all other fantasy novels out there. And the first two movies, which I saw before reading any of the books, made me a little sick to my stomach. Nevertheless, I finally bowed to peer pressure, and started reading them, and have greatly enjoyed the books. I don't go out at midnight or wait in line or anything like that. With the last book that came out, I actually waited six months and then had my pick of copies from the Boston Public Library.

With the final book coming out in a few weeks, many a gathering I have attended has had long discussions about how the series will resolve itself. I felt the need to add my own predictions to the mix. I wonder if I, the non-fan, will get anything right.

1. Dumbledore is not truly dead, at least not like we normally think of dead. The #1 wizard never really dies in fantasy. They have a type of death and come back transformed.

2. While I don't think he is a "good" guy, I don't think Snape is on Voldemort's side, either. As someone said, Dumbledore trusted him completely and if Snape is bad, that casts doubt on Dumbledore's greatness. On the other hand, I wouldn't mind if Snape were bad and Dumbledore was therefore tarnished. It is a good lesson for kids to learn that adults sometimes royally fuck things up and make bad judgements about people.

3. Voldemort will be one of the two main characters killed and he will die in the traditional sense of the word - worm food, no resurrection possible, etc. I can't see Rowling ending the series any other way. Leaving Voldemort alive imbalances the world Rowling has created. And I don't foresee any possible way of redeeming Voldemort, ala Darth Vader. There is really no sacrifice Voldemort can or would make that would redeem his sins.

4. I don't know which other character will die, but I don't believe it will be Harry, unless we want to rethink the concept of death. In tarot, the death card is the card of transformation so great it is like being born again, entirely new. Voldemort and Harry are mirror-twins. When Voldemort dies, so must Harry, at least in some way. My prediction is that he will lose his wizard powers and become a muggle, perhaps with a long career ahead of him as some sort of liasion between the muggle world and the Ministry of Magic. And having Harry return to the muggle world is also good storytelling form. In the best of stories, the protagonist always ends up back at the place s/he started, but radically changed in some way. At the beginning of the series, Harry was just another muggle, an abused and neglected one at that. If he lost his wizard powers, he would become a muggle again, but a strong and capable young adult, ready to go out into the world.

5. Ron and Hermione don't get together. I have no ground on which to base this but I sincerely hope it is true. I don't want Hermione to begin her young adult life tied to a kind-hearted if mostly incompotent dork.

Anyway, those are my predictions. Let the games begin!

Giving up on dating

So I am giving up on dating. What between the closeted gay guys who think if they can get married, their gayness will magically disappear to the those searching for a mommy who looks like a Playboy Bunny and will shag them silly on demand to the liars and cheats to the desperate jerks to the boys who are still babies at 44 to the asshats who think any fat woman should kiss their ass and give it up because they are the only ones who would stoop low enough to have you - well, frankly, it is just too damn exhausting and pathetic.

Honestly, it is beginning to look like the best path would be to find a good woman and go together to Lovers' Lane and pick out our favorite penis for $19.95.

Experimental Cookie #4

So this weekend while I was having a guest, I decided to try out experimental cookie #4. The guest had requested to become a guinea pig, so I figured why not? Our experimental cookie was Banana Chocolate Chip. The cake did not have enough banana flavor, but was otherwise tasty.

2 1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup butter, softened
1 cup Splenda
1 cup light brown sugar
4 T banana flavor
2 large eggs
1 cup 60% cacao bittersweet chocolate chips


Preheat oven to 375. Sift flour with baking soda and salt and set aside. In a large bowl, beat butter and sugar and brown sugar until smooth and creamy. Add vanilla and eggs and mix until incorporated. Blend dry into wet slowly until you have a nice smooth batter, then mix in your chips. Drop by the tablespoon full unto an ungreased cookie sheet and bake for 9-11 minutes,This recipes makes between 2-3 dozen cookies. The cookies are very moist and rich and somewhat cakey in texture.

My guest's take on the cookies: "Best cookies I've had today!"

Experimental Cookies On Deck

So, in the next month or so I will be working on experimental cookie 3B (cafe mocha, but with crushed chocolate covered espresso beans instead of chips), #4 (pumpkin butterscotch) and #5 (chocolate covered banana). I will post as the experimenting begins. #5 is going to be baked in the middle of February, when a potential love interest is coming to visit me. he has expressed a desire to be a cookie taster.

And speaking of tasters and testers, has anyone been trying any of the recipes here? What modifications did you make? Have you liked anything?

Thai Me Down!


Thanks to a date, I have found an excellent Thai restaurant.


Finding good ethnic restaurants in the 'burbs has been difficult. I have found decent Indian food and excellent sushi but nothing else. The Thai I have tried has not been actually Thai. The one Thai place that had decent food was not all that Thai either and the service was awful.

I knew I would have to go into the city to get good ethnic food, and I was right.

So Sunday I had a date, and after a truffle tasting at a fancy chocolatier, we went to a Thai restaurant called P.S. Bangkok. I had the Rama Chicken curry, which is chicken and spinach in a peanut and tamarind sauce. My date had the mussle pancake. Both were delicious. I wish I could have brought the remains of my dish home, but we were going to a small theater afterward, and the smell of curry would have been rude.

My date says that the Nigerian restaurant across the street is also good. I've never had Nigerian, but the man seems to know food, so maybe I will give it a shot!

Now, for poor Jenn trapped in China, a sandwich recipe -

Take a nice piece of crusty baguette, slice, spread with a thin layer of mayonaisse. Add some slices of red ripe tomato, a bit of crisp butter lettuce, and a thin layer of your favorite deli meat (I like ham) and a slice of muenster cheese. Squish it all together and enjoy!

Another Certain Sign of the Impending Apocalypse

Forget the moon turning to blood and the dead rising from their graves. The last true sign of the apocalypse

Eeeeekkkkkkk! Excuse me. I was just attacked by a ladybug. Earlier today, I was attacked by a male member of the European Earwig species, which the Internet informs me, are not poisonous and are actually helpful insects in spite of their terrifying appearance and their tendency to reside in every possible room of my townhouse.

Anyway, the last true sign of the apocalypse is not so much that I have learned to sew (kinda), but rather what I am about to attempt to sew and then wear in public.

See, I started trying to sew this last spring. I've been buying fabric forever, because a former roomie was going to help me sew some things, but we know how things always seem to go with former roomies. So I figured I better do something with all that material rather than just chuck it.

I started out by buying some interesting patterns and then getting them home and realizing I had no damn clue how to read them. Or if they would ever really fit. Throwing caution to the wind, I decided to do some freestyle stuff and started with the basic potato sack skirt. Which I can sew. Kinda. Well, at least it doesn't fall apart, even if it is way shapeless and hands on my as if I am a skeleton (which I am not, those of you who know me can attest).

Buoyed by my somewhat success in the potato sack skirt arena, I went this weekend to the huge Jo-Ann Fabrics near Lake Forest (man, does it put the ones on the East Coast to shame! It's huge! As big as the Super 88 Market in Allston) and purchased a pattern that claims to be very easy. And it is not just a pattern. It is The Pattern. The Pattern of the Apocalypse.

For with The Pattern of the Apocalypse, yours truly shalt maketh The Dress to End All Dresses.

See, a while ago, I hit this huge sale. I mean huge. I got like 6 yards of fake black snake skin material for about a $1 a yard. And, I tell you, I am making me a tight leather dress! That emphasizes the boobs. And I am going to wear that sucker, preferably on a date.

And I will certainly be wearing my new black leather boots, which make me feel tres sexy.

Poor date won't know what hit him……..

Anyway, what does this have to do with the coming Apocalypse, you might ask? Um, let's see – Heather, a pair of sexy black boots, a bosom-enhancing fake black snakeskin dress, and a possible date? Come on people! It very well might be the end of civilization as we know it! And won't it be fun!?